The Mentor’s Workbook: Introduction Part I – Becoming the Perfect Mentor

Hello. My name is Ken Rabow. I am a life empowerment coach helping teens, young adults and their families find success is school, work, relationships and life in general.

There have been countless young people who have made great changes for the better in their lives through mentoring. Changes where these young people were responsible for the successful outcome. These successes are now part of who they are and how they see themselves and shall help guide them in whatever endeavors they take on in life.

The goal of this Workbook is to help you become such a mentor to young people. If you embark on this process you will find yourself helping young people to find their personal greatness. I cannot think of a nobler task or one that I consider to be more honorable to be part of.

Most systems of “repair” seem to be focused on the symptoms. They use the deficiencies to define the whole of the person. Statements such as: “I’m ADHD”. Hello, my name is Skeeter and I’m an alcoholic.” “I’m such a (fill in the blank)” ring throughout the land.

To those who spend so much time on their symptoms, I would suggest you think of the following: we amplify what we focus on, in word, thought and action. The more frequently we are defining ourselves by what we lack, the more we allow our inner thoughts to validate our beliefs in our million micro-decisions of the day.

Having said that, let me add: we cannot underestimate the amount of people who are in denial about their personal foibles. I am not suggesting self-delusion as a the road to success. I encourage you to (and by extension those you mentor) to “own” their challenges as well as their strengths, but please do not let yourself be defined by them.

Let me share with you what one can learn through mentoring:

Every young person has the ability to be successful in every way of their lives. That may seem like a bold statement but the truth is, evolutionarily speaking, if you are alive, then you are doing something right. You must also come from a line of people who were able to thrive. The DNA of success is built into you. It just may present itself in a way that doesn’t fit into a standard mold. What may seem like the opposite of success may simply be indicators that you need to look for another way. To find your own personal way to succeed.

The Slacker’s Guide to Success is once such way. It works by building up a person’s belief in themselves in quiet daily tasks that help build character. It is in the small daily tasks one does away from public view that we build up our own faith in ourselves and it is these same small tasks that have been taken away from this generation.

Shining shoes? – Velcro!
Tying your shoe laces – More Velcro!
Cutting the lawn? – no more lawns – robot lawn mowers – or paid help.
Washing the dishes? Dishwashers!
Vacuuming – Roomba!
Getting the mail (what’s mail? Oh! That stuff before texting!)
Spelling (duh … spellcheck!)
Multiplication tables (do calculators have those?)
Walking the dog (did kids ever really walk the dog?)
Homework (isn’t that what tutors are for?)

I won’t go on. It’s too depressing 🙁

What daily tasks will inspire young people to learn self-discipline, build character and belief in oneself?

Since the “old ones” are gone. They need to be replaced with new ones. (Not that new).

1. Self-reflection. 2. Exercise. 3. Creativity 4. Generativity.
Step One will delve into these in great detail.

Although each person has the potential for success and this system has proven to be highly effective, it does not mean that each person who dabbles with it will invest in it or that they will all stay the course and succeed using this system.

It means that each one has in them the seeds for success and the challenge is to find the proper system for that particular person. Often, when someone has used this system and has risen above their addictions and gone back to school and succeeded well (very often for the first time) they will whole-heartedly recommend this system for their close friends in need of guidance (in between video games levels). The chance of this particular system being right for that friend at that particular time is 50/50. The determining factor is; are they ready?

Now, let’s talk about you. What you need to bring to this system and how you can determine when your “client” is ready for your mentoring.

Who knows your child better than you do? They do! They may not know it or share all of it with you but your understanding of your child is based on history. More than likely, theirs is about right now and tomorrow. The past is often the same place where broken toys reside. Rich and meaningful at one time, but now it is mainly of use for stubbing toes and tripping us up.

It is in the future and the now that you must re-learn about your child.

Stay tuned for more!

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