Son Did Well in University But Is Slacking and Jobless

The Parent’s Contact Email:

“My son, “M” just turned 27 years old is a good guy, but a slacker. (No drugs / No ETOH…just poorly self motivated!!) Things recently went from bad to worse…quit his min wage job without having another lined up. Has a certificate in graphic arts, but it got him nowhere. Real love is game programming. I am encouraging him to go back to school for it. A great opp. Need help motivating him for it. I am not trying to define his life, but instead get him on a path! Please help. I have your book…but need to present it to him in a kind way!”

15 Minute Consultation:

After trying several positive ways to encourage “M” to meet with me, we went to “plan D”. All funds cut off unless he was willing to talk to me one time. It worked! “M” was stuck and ashamed of not having figured out how to make it “out there”.

First Session Work:

Please state three things you wish to work on:

Goal 1: Quitting weed.

Goal 2: Figuring out what job I could do well with.

Goal 3: Getting organized.

What would you say are some of the challenges you have to making these things be as you want them to be?

Goal 1: I really like the ritual of it all. Anywhere I go I can easily make friends ‘cuz there are always stoners around.

Goal 2: I’ve lost confidence in my ability to choose a good future.

Goal 3: I tend to start gaming and lose track of time.

What would be a good indicator that you have made progress in each of these things?

Goal 1: Not smoking on weekdays.

Goal 2: Doing a simple job I like. Preparing for something even better.

Goal 3: Getting something good done each day.

Six Months Later:

“M” succeeded in not smoking during the weekdays for a month but eventually started smoking every day again. He decided to stop completely for a month and see what happens. He is weed-free for 21 weeks and counting! He got a job at an upscale restaurant that trains their staff on business/restaurant skills. He’s been voted “most promising” three months in a row.

“M” is finding the schedule is making it easy to get at least two good things done every day, even with his work schedule. I know what he is going to pick as his long term vocation but we’ll wait and see if that is his “hero’s journey”.